


all i want for christmas (is you)

by hwallrics



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Christmas, Christmas Party, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, eric and changmin are siblings, sangyeon and jacob are married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:21:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23035426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwallrics/pseuds/hwallrics
Summary: “why do you want me to go to this stupid party again?”“i needed a plus one, remember? besides, you’ll enjoy it more than just sitting around.”eric wasn't too sure about that.changmin flashed a smile that could almost be called devious, “oh, also, juyeon’s going to be there.”
Relationships: Lee Juyeon/Son Youngjae | Eric
Comments: 16
Kudos: 193





	all i want for christmas (is you)

**Author's Note:**

> hello! it's been a while since i posted a fic, and this one is literally almost 3 months too late, but i figured it would be better to finish it whenever i could rather than wait until next christmas. so, here's a christmas fic in early march. i hope you enjoy <3
> 
> p.s. i didn't specify, but sangyeon and jacob are supposed to be a bit older than normal, like in their late twenties-early thirties, but changmin, eric, and juyeon are their regular ages!

“why do you want me to go to this stupid party again?”

sleet plastered the windshield of changmin’s car as it cut through the heavy weather and barreled on down the road. changmin was gripping the steering wheel tight with two hands, like he always did when he was concentrating.

“i needed a plus one, remember? besides, you’ll enjoy it more than just sitting around.”

“and how do you know that? i think gaming sounds much more fun than a work party where i don’t know anyone.”

“that’s not quite true,” changmin flashed a smile that could almost be called devious, “juyeon’s going to be there.” 

eric didn’t like the way that changmin’s voice turned up at the end of his sentence, or the implication that it gave, but responding to or challenging his words was likely to make the teasing worse. so instead, he turned away from changmin, hopefully to the point that changmin wouldn’t be able to see his reddening cheeks. at least he would be able to blame that on the cold.

it had been a long time since eric had had feelings for anyone. generally, eric didn’t like to think about romance. well, he actually loved thinking about romance, but avoided thinking about it in the context of himself, because it only made his heart hurt worse at the notion that he was alone, and might be for a long time. many people felt that way—that their loneliness, especially when it came to areas of love, would last for an inconceivable amount of time, until one day, they met someone.

eric had met juyeon about two years ago. it wasn’t a company event, though they did end up meeting because of changmin being his coworker. juyeon had come over to their house along with changmin after work, soon after the two had become something like friends, and since eric happened to be home at the time, he was introduced.

eric remembered having thought, when he shook hands with juyeon, that he was undoubtedly the most attractive person he had ever seen.

he had a crush on him right away, and knew that even becoming his friend might be somewhat difficult, with how little he got to see him, and how little of a reason he had to want to talk to the friend of his older brother. 

he had wanted to work for it, to make even a friendship happen by any means possible, because everything about juyeon was magnetising and drew him in more the closer he looked. it proved difficult, and for a while, juyeon had always greeted him in that tone—the kind that said  _ i think of you as the younger brother of my friend, and not a person i would ever be friends with. _

maybe eric had been more obvious about his interest than he had thought, or maybe changmin had just been nicer to him than usual, because after that, changmin had started to have all three of them hang out together. being included in more things, and being invited to them instead of just having to briefly crash to say hello and get his one minute with juyeon, had opened up many opportunities to get to know the subject of his affections, and he had taken them all.

whether he had annoyed juyeon with his aggressive attempts at friendship or not, it didn’t matter, because he had been like an unstoppable force. he had often tried to show off—to do or say something to impress juyeon—and almost always, his overconfidence had gotten the best of him and had caused him to mess it up. at least they shared a laugh when he did, even if he had felt his failure to impress stab at his pride a little more each time.

looking back on how he used to act around juyeon made eric want to curl up into a ball and never face his past again. he had been childish, almost obsessive, at times, and was glad to know that his bright and exciting crush had melted into something more like yearning. it was better, in some ways, to be more self-aware, but worse in others, to feel the painful sides of having a one-sided attraction.

despite all of his efforts, eric had never seen much of a sign that juyeon felt the same. it made for a bleak holiday—to see everyone out and enjoying the season with their loved ones, while eric had to stay home alone and steep in his sadness. 

that is, until changmin had dragged him along to his party. it was definitely a set-up, on his brother’s end, especially as someone who had been (seemingly) trying to help eric in his quest for juyeon’s heart the whole time, and as someone who had regularly teased him for said quest.

eric was snapped out of his thoughts when changmin’s car pulled into a roughly shoveled driveway at a house he had never seen before.

“so whose house is this, anyway?” eric unbuckled his seatbelt, and grabbed the bags of food off of the floor, before opening the car door and stepping into the ice-bitten air.

“this is sangyeon and jacob’s house, remember? i told you about it in the car.”

“sorry, must’ve been zoning out.” that was exactly what he had been doing, of course. “are they a couple or something?”

“eric, they’re literally married, please try to pay more attention when i tell you important things.”

eric gave a noncommittal hum, and followed behind as changmin took the lead up to the front door and walked up its steps.

two men he assumed to be sangyeon and jacob opened the door, all smiles, and welcomed them inside. their house was warm and cozy, and very domestic. there were shoes piled up by the front door, a little table with photos of them together and their families, wedding photos on the wall. a coat rack with probably dozens of coats, many of them presumably not their own. it was comfortable, and as much as eric wanted to feel uncomfortable, he wasn’t.

“who’s this?” one of them asked, smiling in eric’s direction.

“this is eric, my younger brother. i think i’ve mentioned him before, right?”

“yeah, you have,  _ many _ times.” the other one chuckled, like he was sharing an inside joke they all understood. eric’s cheeks warmed. he didn’t like knowing that they talked about him when he wasn’t there.

“where should i put all this?” eric broke the mood and lifted up the bags he was still carrying. they were starting to get heavy, and eric was starting to get tired of this idle conversation with people he didn’t know.

“oh, you can follow me.” the second one who had spoken started moving towards what eric assumed was the kitchen, and eric quickly stepped out of his shoes before stumbling after him. “i’m jacob, by the way.”

“nice to meet you.”

eric was led into the kitchen, where he dumped all of the bags on the counter, and started helping jacob unpack them. changmin had overbought— _ again _ —bringing enough food and drinks for three parties. 

“ugh, i’ve told changmin so many times, he doesn’t need to bring this much,” jacob mumbled under his breath as he fiddled with the plastic packaging on a set of paper plates.

“he’s done this before, then?”

“yeah, a few times.” jacob relaxed, smiling. “sorry about that, i’m sure you don’t want to hear me complain about your brother, especially when he’s doing something nice.”

“no, it’s okay. i’d be annoyed with him, too.” eric joined jacob in smiling and felt, for just a moment, that the party might not be as awkward as he had anticipated.

they arranged the food on the kitchen island and plated them where necessary, amongst the other food that was already set out. 

“so, eric, how old are you?”

“nineteen.”

“are you in college yet?” 

eric’s heart sank. he hated those kinds of questions, the ones where it felt necessary to impress, to prove himself. all he did was shake his head in response, and it seemed like jacob could tell that he didn’t want to talk about it, so they didn’t.

when the island was full, they moved to the dining room table and put the rest of the food there. it seemed like a proper feast, now, and eric wondered if the guests would be able to eat it all. he envisioned the couple trying to push leftovers onto guests as they left, and figured most of it would be going home with them.

eric wasted time on the couch, scrolling through various social media sites, as more guests started to trickle in. normally, eric loved parties and socialization. they were an environment he had confidence being in, and was often considered the fun one. 

this, however, was different. it was a place he felt he didn’t belong. he wasn’t amongst his peers—people from his former school, or even anyone who was the same age as him. other than himself, changmin was probably one of the youngest ones there at just twenty-one. everyone else looked to be in their late twenties or early thirties. besides the age difference, there was the fact that eric didn’t know any of these people, and had no reason to, and that felt like an impassable wall.

the main room, though spacious, was starting to feel crowded. there was at least a few dozen people in there, now, mostly stood around talking to each other as eric tried to make himself smaller as the only one on the couch, and the only one by himself. no one had noticed him yet, luckily, or at least, no one had made him  _ feel _ noticed.

the ambient nose of chatter and distant music was starting to grate on him, and his eyes started to lose their focus on his phone screen even though his thumb kept moving.

he was snapped out of his daze by changmin calling to him from across the room and waving him over. he looked excited, and seeing who was standing next to him, he understood why.

juyeon had arrived, and was standing in the wide arched entrance to the main room with changmin and a few other younger-looking people, who eric assumed must be their extended friend group.

eric took a deep breath, gathered his courage, and joined them.

“hey guys,” he greeted, giving a timid smile, barely able to meet juyeon’s eyes. 

“hey eric. i didn’t expect to see you here.” juyeon smiled back, before taking a sip of some unknown drink.

“i felt bad about him being alone on christmas, so i dragged him along. not too bad of an idea though, especially since  _ you _ showed up.” changmin grinned, and nudged juyeon with his elbow. juyeon at least had the decency to look embarrassed as eric tried not to let his cheeks turn red.

“well, i’m glad you’re here, anyways.” juyeon rested a hand on eric’s shoulder, just briefly, before letting it drop again. 

eric didn’t like feeling shy, but it was impossible not to around juyeon. even when he tried his best to be confident, something about juyeon’s eyes always made him feel weak in the knees. it was how he felt right then, with juyeon looking at him softly, the feeling of his hand still lingering on his shoulder, and the warmth of the room making him feel lightheaded.

“me too.” eric grinned despite himself. “i’m glad you’re here.”

“i’m gonna go get a snack, be right back!” changmin said, a chipper tone to his voice, though eric barely noticed him leave, too preoccupied with what was in front of him.

“i haven’t seen you in a while, how’ve you been?”

“i’ve been okay. not doing much, to be honest.” eric avoided meeting juyeon’s eyes again as he answered.

“outside of work, i haven’t been doing much either.” they shared a bittersweet chuckle and a moment of silence, and eric was glad that juyeon didn’t feel the need to delve further into how he was doing. maybe he could sense that he didn’t want to elaborate.

“honestly, i hate going to these things.” juyeon sighed, taking another sip of his drink. “if we don’t go, it’s seen as bad character, though. i’m sure sangyeon wouldn’t mind, but the higher-ups? they definitely would, and they’re at this party too.”

“sangyeon?”

“oh, yeah, he’s my manager. changmin’s as well. we work directly under him.”

eric nodded, trying to understand. it seemed complicated from his perspective, but then again, even after years, eric still wasn’t sure what changmin and juyeon did at work. he was about to ask, when changmin returned and made himself the center of attention with a loud gasp to their left.

eric turned to see what was going on, when he noticed changmin pointing to the ceiling of the archway above them and smiling.

“juyeon and eric are under the mistletoe!”

eric paled when he saw that they were, indeed, standing right under a mistletoe. how no one had noticed it before, he wasn’t sure. the implications of what was to follow made white-hot anxiety flood his chest, and he fiddled with the ends of the sleeves of his sweater. yes, eric liked juyeon—loved him, even—but he didn’t want  _ this _ . he didn’t want his first kiss  _ ever _ to be in front of a bunch of weird older people and his  _ brother _ . and he didn’t want it to be because of circumstance. he wanted it to happen because it was meant to.

people around them were chattering, an excited rush to their voices. vaguely, eric heard changmin and his friends start to egg them on, telling them to  _ hurry up and kiss already! _ and all eric felt was panic. 

juyeon could probably see it on his face, as he looked conflicted himself. he put his hand on eric’s shoulder again, and squeezed.

“eric, we don’t have to, okay? don’t worry.” eric wanted to relax at his words, but the slowly-forming crowd around them didn’t relent. someone started a rhythmic clap along to chants of the word  _ kiss _ , over and over again, and eric felt sick and closed his eyes.

then, he was being pulled along by the hand and away from the crowd. belatedly, he realized, by juyeon. he led them away from the main room and down the hallway to somewhere, away from the steadily receding  _ boo _ s and into some kind of sitting room, closing the door behind them.

eric let himself be led into the room, and onto a loveseat, where juyeon kept his arm around eric’s shoulders. it was comforting, and eric finally felt safe. for a moment, juyeon kept the silence and let eric calm down completely.

this room was colder than the rest of the house, and dark, with the only light coming from outside through the windows to illuminate everything in a solid but gentle blueish glow. the sun had set while he was inside. it was small, with only the loveseat and a few chairs, along with bookcases and tables full of more photographs. he could still hear the noise of the party, but it was so muffled that it felt miles away.

“eric, are you okay? you seemed really panicked back there.” juyeon’s voice was low, and kind, and eric resisted the urge to lean against his chest.

“yeah, i’m okay now. thank you.” eric fought against his instinct to apologize as the anxiety mostly receded. even though he could feel that juyeon was genuinely concerned, he couldn’t help but feel like he had inconvenienced him.

“of course. i could tell how uncomfortable they were making you.”

silence returned, enveloping them, but it wasn’t awkward. just the atmosphere of the room was calming enough, and the presence of juyeon added to it. eric let himself relax into the loveseat and more into juyeon’s arms, because he could sense that he wouldn’t mind. he felt that he was right when juyeon squeezed his shoulder and pulled him just a little closer. though eric was usually very talkative, he didn’t mind this at all, especially not with juyeon.

just as eric was about to say something, some bit of small talk, he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. he turned and looked out the window to confirm his suspicions: it was snowing.

it wasn’t the first time it had snowed that season, but it was always exciting. it inevitably became an annoyance later when it piled up and changmin tasked him with shoveling it out of their driveway, but in the moment it always felt magical. even thinking that made him feel a bit silly, but it didn’t matter if he only called it that in his mind.

eric perked up immediately when he fully realized the change in weather and sat up from where he had been lounging in juyeon’s arms, perching on the edge of the loveseat.

“look, it’s snowing!” eric couldn’t help but smile as he watched the flurries come down. it wasn’t a heavy snow—just light enough to be enjoyable for a little while if stood outside, like a gentle rain.

“it’s been snowing all week,” juyeon replied with a hint of amusement, but eric knew it wasn’t malicious. 

“c’mon, let’s go outside!” eric jumped up from his seat and walked over to the french doors in the center of the wall of windows. they led to a big wraparound porch that mostly faced the backyard behind the house. it only took him a second to fiddle with the lock before getting it open.

“eric, wait, you don’t have a jacket, it’s freezing out there!”

eric ignored him and went outside anyways. a few minutes wouldn’t kill him, and he didn’t want to miss the snow before it either stopped or got worse.

he didn’t trail too far, choosing to lean against the porch railing to watch it come down. luckily, juyeon followed him outside and joined him a second later, standing so close that he could feel the warmth radiating off of him. it was much needed. despite wearing a sweater, it was on the thinner side and wasn’t really doing anything to protect against the cold.

sangyeon and jacob’s backyard was huge. it was mostly grass, currently being covered by a mismatched layer of snow and sleet, but in the back there were some tall trees in lieu of a fence. being there, in the snow with juyeon, almost made him feel like it was just them off in some retreat in the middle of nowhere, having this moment all to themselves. the murmur of guests from the party coming from the building behind them broke the illusion, but eric could still cling to the feeling it gave him.

their shared silence returned as they stood and watched the snow together. most people wouldn’t find it interesting, but there was something about it that had always put eric at ease. juyeon looked the same as eric felt, something gentle and serene gracing his expression. though juyeon always had a comforting aura, this was different.

“do you like the snow, too?” eric’s voice cut through the silence, but it wasn’t startling, instead said so that it might blend in to the quietness surrounding them. juyeon just nodded in return.

another moment passed before juyeon spoke.

“y’know, i remember when we met.” he took a pause, waiting for eric to give him his full attention. “it was snowing like this on that day, too. i just remember thinking how nervously excited you seemed. at the time i thought it was just because you were anxious to meet me, but just now, your expression reminded me of then.”

“i  _ was _ nervous to meet you, though.” eric didn’t remember the snow from that day, but he remembered juyeon. he always did.

“i know, i know.” juyeon chuckled, and wrapped his arm around eric’s shoulder again, pulling him in so they were pressed together, side to side. juyeon’s warmth radiated against him and spread through him, and he was grateful for it, though he couldn’t help the way his heartbeat picked up a little bit.

“i was nervous because i thought you seemed  _ so  _ cool. i wanted to be your friend so badly.” eric left off the part about being completely infatuated with him, worried that being too honest would ruin the moment.

“i think i was a bit cold to you at first, but i honestly thought you were really cute and just didn’t know how to deal with it.” juyeon tucked his chin to his chest and laughed like he was embarrassed at the admission, but all eric could focus on was being called  _ cute _ . no one other than his mother had ever called him cute before and meant it. luckily, his face was already flushed from the cold, so it wouldn’t be obvious how flustered he was by it.

eric spent so long processing the compliment that too much time had passed for him to make any kind of response, not that he could think of anything to say anyway.

juyeon cleared his throat. “i still think you are. cute, i mean.” eric turned to look at him, but he was facing the other way. after all the time had spent hopelessly pining, he almost didn’t  _ want _ to have hope, but suddenly it felt like he might have a reason to.

eric leaned into him, letting juyeon hold him close. the chill in the air was finally starting to get to him, so he got as close as he could to try and absorb his warmth even more than he already was. however, eric’s sweater really wasn’t doing much, and he couldn’t hide the violent shiver that rippled through him when a cold wind hit the back of his neck.

“maybe we should go inside, you seem really cold,” juyeon said, squeezing his arm around eric’s shoulders even tighter as if to try and give him more warmth, somehow.

“not yet—i just… i just want to watch the snow a bit longer.”  _ and be with you _ . eric wanted to prolong this moment between them, not knowing if he’d ever get the chance to be so close with juyeon again.

“then take my jacket, at least.” juyeon pulled away from him, and eric bemoaned the loss of warmth as juyeon struggled to take his jacket off.

“but you’ll get cold, too.”

“don’t worry about that.” juyeon wrapped eric in the jacket, not bothering to help his arms into the sleeves, and eric hated to admit that he greatly appreciated the extra layer. juyeon’s jacket was made of denim, but the inside was lined with wool. it was big and cozy on him.

eric went to pull the jacket tighter around himself before realizing that juyeon’s hands were still holding the lapels tight, and he was still standing close. right in front of him, actually. much closer than before.

looking up and seeing juyeon’s expression made eric feel a little breathless, and his heart kicked up speed. there was no way to describe it other than it looked like juyeon wanted to kiss him, but the little knot of insecurity in his chest still wanted to protest and tell him he was imagining things. eric almost wanted to say something, to tell him to hurry up and kiss him already or to do  _ something _ other than stand there and stare at him like he’s something precious, but his voice was caught in his throat.

the tension building up as juyeon flitted his gaze down to eric’s lips for half a second was too much, and eric’s breathing stuttered. they were close enough that eric could see every speck of detail in juyeon’s eyes, and smell his muted cologne. just as eric was about to actually ask him to kiss him out loud, juyeon went ahead and did what they were both thinking.

the first thing eric did was hold juyeon’s face in his palms. his cheeks were cold, unsurprisingly, but still had an underlying heat to them. his skin was soft, just like his lips. their kiss was a little bit clumsy, and uncoordinated, and somewhere in the back of his mind, eric wondered if he wasn’t the only one who had never kissed anyone else before.

the giddy feeling that came with realizing he was finally,  _ actually _ kissing juyeon rose up in his chest and made him feel like he would burst. eric didn’t realize he was smiling into their kiss until he felt juyeon smile back, and they both pulled away, barely suppressing giggles. eric felt dizzy and unsteady on his feet, swept up in the moment. it was the best he had felt in a long time.

“your face is cold,” eric said, brushing his thumbs over juyeon’s cheekbones.

“well, your lips are chapped.” juyeon tried and failed to hold a serious expression, bursting into laughter right alongside eric.

eric suddenly felt a wave of shyness hit him as the adrenaline settled down, and he couldn’t make himself keep looking into juyeon’s eyes, so he leaned forward to rest on his chest instead, and wrapped his arms around his waist. like this, he was more aware of their height difference than ever, but he didn’t mind. his head came to rest right above juyeon’s heart, and he closed his eyes, listening to it beat. it was beating at a similar pace to his own, quick with excitement.

juyeon’s arms wrapped around eric in return, and he felt safe.

“i like you.” eric heard juyeon’s heartbeat move faster as he said it, and he couldn’t help but smile again, even though juyeon couldn’t see it.

“i like you, too.”

“that’s good.”

“how long…?” it felt selfish to ask, like he wasn’t allowed, but he couldn’t help himself. eric thought every day about how long he had liked— _ loved _ —juyeon, and about every little thing that made him get there. he wanted to know the other side of it.

“i’m not really sure… what made me realize was when we had that movie night, during summer break.” eric remembered the day well. it was one of the days he had felt closest to juyeon, like they might be able to be something more, before their friendship settled back into its normal routine. changmin had been there, too, of course. it was always the three of them. “it was really late, and you fell asleep on my shoulder, and we were sharing a blanket. it was just…  _ nice _ . i wanted to hold your hand.”

“you should’ve.” eric didn’t know where his boldness was coming from, but for once, he felt like he didn’t have to hold back.

“what? wait, how long have  _ you _ ?”

“probably since the day i met you, to be honest.” eric buried his face in juyeon’s shirt, too embarrassed to face his own confession.

“i think we waited too long.”

eric chuckled at that. “definitely.”

“we should probably go inside now,” juyeon said through a shudder. eric could feel how cold he was, and suddenly felt guilty.

“sorry i took your jacket,” eric said, sheepish, as they hesitantly pulled apart from their hug.

“don’t be, i’m the one that gave it to you.” juyeon smiled, soft, and grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together. he leaned in and gave eric a quick kiss before dragging him inside. eric wondered how long it would take for him to get used to being able to be close to juyeon like that, as his cheeks flushed.

eric had underestimated how cold it was outside, because stepping inside was like stepping into a furnace. he felt almost  _ too _ warm too quickly, but resisted taking juyeon’s jacket off. he wanted to wear it as long as possible, as a reminder that he finally had an excuse to. juyeon didn’t ask for it back, so he figured it was fine to keep until he did.

eric was about to suggest going back to the party when the door to the room opened and revealed changmin behind it.

“there you guys are! i was starting to wonder…” he trailed off as he noticed them holding hands. “ah, resolved that, i see. good. i was starting to wonder if you would ever tell him.” he directed his statement towards juyeon.

“you  _ knew _ ?” eric said, voice tipping on the verge of too loud.

“juyeon has been moping about pining over you for  _ months _ . it was my idea to drag you to this party just so he could confess.”

eric looked over to the man in question, whose face was currently bright red, and being covered by his free hand.

“the mistletoe was too much, though. sorry about that.” changmin looked apologetic for a minute, before his face split into a mischievous grin again. “anyways, come back to the party whenever you’re ready, guys!” he closed the door behind him, and eric waited until his footsteps receded before speaking.

“you planned this?” eric was touched. he had thought it was just something spontaneous, furthered by the moment. knowing he had been on juyeon’s mind the whole night—he felt special.

“ever since that night, i had been trying to figure out how to tell you… at first i wasn’t even sure that i should, but changmin is the one who encouraged me to do it. i guess he knew we liked each other before we even did, huh?” juyeon squeezed his hand.

“i wonder who else knows?” eric let out a breathy laugh at the idea that they were the only ones oblivious, but it was probably true, knowing their track record.

“probably everyone back at that party.”

“you’re right.” eric groaned and fell forward into juyeon’s chest again. if he could, he would spend the rest of his life there, it was so comfortable.

“wanna go back?”

eric turned his head to look out the window, and watch the snow fall. it didn’t stop, like he thought it would, and was coming down harder. still, it seemed so gentle.

“not yet… let’s stay here a little longer.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading <3
> 
> come talk to me!
> 
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/hwallrics) | [ curiouscat ](https://curiouscat.me/hwallrics)


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